Most of us remember a day in our teens when our high school guidance counselor called us in for career counseling. She scrutinized and evaluated us, gave us tests with cryptic questions, and in the end proclaimed with some certainty that our career destiny was to become a fireman-or a stonemason, or a math teacher, or something equally mysterious. As baffling as this process was, if you're the parent to teenagers, you probably find yourself wishing you could give them such definite career advice.
With so many career options in the modern workplace, it can be difficult for parents and teens to narrow down the choices. The good news is, those career tests your guidance counselor gave you have come a long way. Today's career assessments provide an accurate, sophisticated, and time-effective way to help your child discover their career aptitude. Tests of your child's personality, preferences, talents, and interests provide you and your teen with essential information as you make choices for college and beyond.
Do you know whether your child is a structured traditionalist, or a sensitive artist? Do they do their best work in solitude or on teams? One of the most widely used career assessments for teens, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®), assesses your child's personality type on four scales: Extraversion/Introversion, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving. Based on these measures, the test results provide information on careers, industries, and work environments that are good choices for your child's personality type. Knowing your child's personality type is crucial to choosing a career path that will motivate, challenge, and satisfy them.
Extensive research has been done using the MBTI to correlate personality type with career success, so that once your child knows their type, they can benefit from the career experience of thousands of similar types. The test results will help them to understand the key factors for their job satisfaction, crucial stressors to avoid when choosing a career, and some common pitfalls they may encounter as they start on their career path. Although your child's interests may change over time, their personality type will remain constant, and preparing your child with an awareness of their personality type will benefit them for the rest of their life.
To discover the best career for your child, it is also important to understand how their interests, hobbies, and favorite activities can inform their career choice. The Strong Interest Inventory®, a well-researched and widely used career test, assesses your teen's interest level in six major career categories: Conventional, Investigative, Realistic, Artistic, Enterprising, and Social. Then, it matches your teen's test scores with the interest profiles of successful professionals to rate the careers that are the best match for them. The Strong Interest Inventory results can help your child to understand the day-to-day tasks that certain jobs require, and how their interests match up with possible careers.
Both the Strong Interest Inventory and the Myers Briggs Type Indicator can be taken with the assistance of a qualified career counselor. You may choose to visit a counselor in your area, or you can have your teen take these tests online. If you feel your teen may need ongoing coaching, it may be best to visit a counselor in person. However, many families find that it is most convenient to access these career tests for kids online.
However you decide to take the tests, you can ensure you get the most out of the assessment by reviewing and verifying the results with a qualified counselor or coach. Both the MBTI and the Strong are designed to be interpreted and explained by a professional with training in the use of the assessments. Your counselor or coach will help you to make sense of the results and apply them to your teen's individual situation, and will assist you in planning the next steps for your child's career exploration.
The sheer variety of career options today is astounding. Your teen has a dazzling, and sometimes overwhelming, array of choices. With so many options, teens and parents will benefit from using the excellent personality and career tests that have been developed to help students choose a rewarding career. Not only can these assessments provide much-needed direction, but they can help steer your child towards a career that will challenge and satisfy them for many years to come.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Angry Teenagers - How Do You Deal With Kids You Love But Don't Always Like
Angry teenagers can be hard to be around. You may feel confused about how you feel about this because you love your child, but the reality is that sometimes you just don't like him. Since few parents ever talk about this even with their spouses, this suppressed feeling makes you feel guilty, even further draining your energy and setting you up for more conflict with your teen. It's a vicious cycle that leaves you wondering, why, oh, why can't the kid just do what he's told?
It may help to know that even well-trained therapists have difficulty dealing with kids anger. Of course it is easier for them because they operate at a distance. They don't have the emotional connections or expectations that you have in your relationship with your teen. A therapist isn't likely to feel rejected by a kid who has everything, yet still refuses to tow the line. A therapist does not need to feel appreciated for his work, like a parent does, he just needs to get paid for his time.
The first thing you need to ask yourself when dealing with kids anger is what are your expectations in your relationship with your teen? Do you want your child to keep his room spotless, get straight A's in school and tell you how much he loves you and appreciates everything you do? If so, this fantasy will probably never come to pass and is just a setup for disappointment and conflict between the two of you. So the first step, is to examine pie-in-the-sky expectations and bring them down to earth.
Take those expectations and make a short list of expectations that your teen can live up to. An example might be: Do homework first, keep clothes off the floor of the bedroom and bathroom, do the dishes every night and take out the trash.
The second thing you have to understand is where your teenager is at in terms of the spectrum of child development. I constantly remind my parenting coaching clients that as a parent, it is your job to "seek first to understand, then to be understood" and not the other way around.
In order to do this, you need to understand a number of things about angry teenagers and where all that animosity is coming from. Number one, know that right now, your child is product of his hormones. This is not an excuse, but a reality. You still have to enforce the limits for poor behavior, but it helps to understand that your child is driven by these hormones that are surging through his body which he cannot control and doesn't fully understand. In other words, in many ways, your child is not in the driver's seat, so when he cuts you off, try not to take it personally. While this doesn't mean you excuse his behavior, it means you learn how to respond to it, rather than react to it.
Number two, the angst of the teenage years, especially in today's complex world, is unnerving. Your teen is in no-man's land-the place between being a child and being an adult. The pressure here is like nothing you can imagine, even though you've been there and done that, you were not forced to grow up in such a sophisticated world with so many distractions and choices. The pressure from all this is overwhelming and can make your child feel like it's just better and less confusing not to care.
Third, understand that your teen's brain is under construction. During adolescence the brain gets rid of whole neural networks and begins building the prefrontal cortex, that part of your child's brain that is responsible for making decisions. This means that during this stage, your child's decision-making skills are hampered, which is why even though he is pushing you away, he needs you more than ever. This push-pull dynamic can drive parents over the edge because they feel like they need to come down hard on their teen, but feel guilty when they do.
Although there will be plenty of interactions with angry kids that leave you feeling like you don't like your teen, you do love him and it's your job to do what is best for him. Do this not by being a "sage on the stage," but by being a "guide on the side," which is a skill that I teach in my parenting coach practice. When you're not preaching from your pulpit, but allowing your teen discover how the world works with your subtle guidance, you are less likely to take his behavior personally, especially when you understand that while you may not like his inappropriate behavior and feel impatient with his seeming inability to learn, deep down you still love him more than anything.
For parents who have difficulty navigating tough situations with their kids (and believe me, we all do), outside resources can help. While a therapist can help your child learn to deal with his anger, a better tact is to learn how to do this yourself. By doing so, you will increase your skill as a parent, gain your child's respect and ultimately, make for a closer parent-child relationship.
For teens who are defiant and disrespectful, a good at-home behavioral program can help you learn how to turn around angry teenagers and help motivate behavior that earns attention for doing positive things at home, in school and out in the world. And isn't this what we all want for our kids: the tools to teach them how to be good, responsible people and how to lead happy, fulfilling lives, while making their unique mark on the world?
It may help to know that even well-trained therapists have difficulty dealing with kids anger. Of course it is easier for them because they operate at a distance. They don't have the emotional connections or expectations that you have in your relationship with your teen. A therapist isn't likely to feel rejected by a kid who has everything, yet still refuses to tow the line. A therapist does not need to feel appreciated for his work, like a parent does, he just needs to get paid for his time.
The first thing you need to ask yourself when dealing with kids anger is what are your expectations in your relationship with your teen? Do you want your child to keep his room spotless, get straight A's in school and tell you how much he loves you and appreciates everything you do? If so, this fantasy will probably never come to pass and is just a setup for disappointment and conflict between the two of you. So the first step, is to examine pie-in-the-sky expectations and bring them down to earth.
Take those expectations and make a short list of expectations that your teen can live up to. An example might be: Do homework first, keep clothes off the floor of the bedroom and bathroom, do the dishes every night and take out the trash.
The second thing you have to understand is where your teenager is at in terms of the spectrum of child development. I constantly remind my parenting coaching clients that as a parent, it is your job to "seek first to understand, then to be understood" and not the other way around.
In order to do this, you need to understand a number of things about angry teenagers and where all that animosity is coming from. Number one, know that right now, your child is product of his hormones. This is not an excuse, but a reality. You still have to enforce the limits for poor behavior, but it helps to understand that your child is driven by these hormones that are surging through his body which he cannot control and doesn't fully understand. In other words, in many ways, your child is not in the driver's seat, so when he cuts you off, try not to take it personally. While this doesn't mean you excuse his behavior, it means you learn how to respond to it, rather than react to it.
Number two, the angst of the teenage years, especially in today's complex world, is unnerving. Your teen is in no-man's land-the place between being a child and being an adult. The pressure here is like nothing you can imagine, even though you've been there and done that, you were not forced to grow up in such a sophisticated world with so many distractions and choices. The pressure from all this is overwhelming and can make your child feel like it's just better and less confusing not to care.
Third, understand that your teen's brain is under construction. During adolescence the brain gets rid of whole neural networks and begins building the prefrontal cortex, that part of your child's brain that is responsible for making decisions. This means that during this stage, your child's decision-making skills are hampered, which is why even though he is pushing you away, he needs you more than ever. This push-pull dynamic can drive parents over the edge because they feel like they need to come down hard on their teen, but feel guilty when they do.
Although there will be plenty of interactions with angry kids that leave you feeling like you don't like your teen, you do love him and it's your job to do what is best for him. Do this not by being a "sage on the stage," but by being a "guide on the side," which is a skill that I teach in my parenting coach practice. When you're not preaching from your pulpit, but allowing your teen discover how the world works with your subtle guidance, you are less likely to take his behavior personally, especially when you understand that while you may not like his inappropriate behavior and feel impatient with his seeming inability to learn, deep down you still love him more than anything.
For parents who have difficulty navigating tough situations with their kids (and believe me, we all do), outside resources can help. While a therapist can help your child learn to deal with his anger, a better tact is to learn how to do this yourself. By doing so, you will increase your skill as a parent, gain your child's respect and ultimately, make for a closer parent-child relationship.
For teens who are defiant and disrespectful, a good at-home behavioral program can help you learn how to turn around angry teenagers and help motivate behavior that earns attention for doing positive things at home, in school and out in the world. And isn't this what we all want for our kids: the tools to teach them how to be good, responsible people and how to lead happy, fulfilling lives, while making their unique mark on the world?
Monday, December 25, 2017
Review - Disney's All Star Sports Resort at Walt Disney World
Disney's All Star Sports Resort at Walt Disney World is a favorite for families and sports fans. One of Disney's Value Resorts, this hotel is among the lowest priced accommodations at Walt Disney World. Check out my review of Disney's All Star Sports, and see how it stacks up against other hotels both inside and outside Disney World.
Theme and Style: Sports fans feel right at home at All Star Sports. Giant tennis ball rackets, hockey sticks, baseball bats and surfboard decorate the guest room buildings. Yes, that's right. The giant decor is overwhelming to some guests. But sports fans and children love it!
Room Rates: Standard rooms range from $82 per night during the Value Season to $129 per night during the Holiday Season. Preferred rooms, which are closer to the main building, are about $12 per night more expensive. Due to the size of the resort, the additional fee for the Preferred Room is worth it.
Guest Rooms: All guest rooms are the smallest at Disney World, about 260 square feet. They open to exterior hallways or balconies, which is typical for all Value and Moderate Resorts. (Only Deluxe Resorts have interior hallways.)
Each room is equipped with:
Two double beds that sleep four. (Note that these are double beds, not queens. Some king rooms are available, but they are very limited and most are designed for guests with physical disabilities.)
One vanity sink, with a separate bathroom that houses the toilet and bathtub with shower.
One six-drawer bureau, small table with two side chairs.
Telephone with data port.
High-speed Internet connection. ($10/day fee)
The furniture is art deco style with colorful accents. The bedding is covered with colorful sports images. Light fixtures are shaped like megaphones and stars. Imagine the themed bedding and decoration kits available for teens' bedrooms, and you've got the general idea. Not high fashion, but appropriate.
Food and Dining: The End Zone Food Count offers breakfast, lunch and dinner service at four counter-service stations. Most meals are typical fast food, such as hot dogs, hamburgers and pizza, but one station serves home-style meals, such as fried chicken or roast turkey, for dinner. The Deli Market sells prepackaged sandwiches, salads, fruit, desserts and snacks. The healthiest options are the salads and sandwiches. But who really cares during vacation?
Pizza delivery service is available in the evening. It's perfect when your family doesn't want to go out for dinner, and the pizza is actually quite good. Team Spirits serves specialty drinks (alcoholic and nonalcoholic), beer and snacks. Since the service is at a counter outdoors (only a small counter indoors), I prefer to purchase adult beverages at the resort shop and take it to our room.
Of course, if you want more dining options, you can travel to another resort or the theme parks. Deluxe Resorts have more fine dining choices and character meals.
Shopping: Sport Goofy Gifts and Sundries is a large gift shop with a wide selection of T-shirts, toys and other souvenirs. There's also an excellent selection of packaged bakery goods, snacks and beverages. It is quite possible to get enough supplies for inexpensive breakfasts and lunches if your family is on a budget.
Recreation and Entertainment: Our favorite recreation at All Star Sports are the two large themed pools. The "Surf's Up" pool is more shaded and next to the main building with the food court, so we stop there more often. The other pool is shaped like a baseball diamond - not as exciting, but frequently less crowded. But this resort is probably best known for the football field playground. Just for the record, there's also a small arcade. Kids and teen boys are probably the ones that will enjoy it most.
Transportation: Buses transport guests from All Star Spots to the theme parks and Downtown Disney. All three of the All Star Resorts share the bus service, so the rides can be long. All Star Sports is the first stop, which helps at the end of a long day. If you're headed to another resort, you'll need to take the bus to a theme park or Downtown Disney then take whatever transportation is best to that resort. (Yes, it can be complicated, but it's the same for any of the Value or Moderate Resorts.)
Overall Review and Recommendations: Even though All Star Sports is in the "lowest class" hotel at Disney World, it's still a Disney property. I've consistently found the service, cleanliness and attention to detail as good here as at many four- and five-star hotels. Families with young children, sports fans and anyone with a good sense of humor - or a sense of adventure - or on a budget will appreciate its special features.
Theme and Style: Sports fans feel right at home at All Star Sports. Giant tennis ball rackets, hockey sticks, baseball bats and surfboard decorate the guest room buildings. Yes, that's right. The giant decor is overwhelming to some guests. But sports fans and children love it!
Room Rates: Standard rooms range from $82 per night during the Value Season to $129 per night during the Holiday Season. Preferred rooms, which are closer to the main building, are about $12 per night more expensive. Due to the size of the resort, the additional fee for the Preferred Room is worth it.
Guest Rooms: All guest rooms are the smallest at Disney World, about 260 square feet. They open to exterior hallways or balconies, which is typical for all Value and Moderate Resorts. (Only Deluxe Resorts have interior hallways.)
Each room is equipped with:
Two double beds that sleep four. (Note that these are double beds, not queens. Some king rooms are available, but they are very limited and most are designed for guests with physical disabilities.)
One vanity sink, with a separate bathroom that houses the toilet and bathtub with shower.
One six-drawer bureau, small table with two side chairs.
Telephone with data port.
High-speed Internet connection. ($10/day fee)
The furniture is art deco style with colorful accents. The bedding is covered with colorful sports images. Light fixtures are shaped like megaphones and stars. Imagine the themed bedding and decoration kits available for teens' bedrooms, and you've got the general idea. Not high fashion, but appropriate.
Food and Dining: The End Zone Food Count offers breakfast, lunch and dinner service at four counter-service stations. Most meals are typical fast food, such as hot dogs, hamburgers and pizza, but one station serves home-style meals, such as fried chicken or roast turkey, for dinner. The Deli Market sells prepackaged sandwiches, salads, fruit, desserts and snacks. The healthiest options are the salads and sandwiches. But who really cares during vacation?
Pizza delivery service is available in the evening. It's perfect when your family doesn't want to go out for dinner, and the pizza is actually quite good. Team Spirits serves specialty drinks (alcoholic and nonalcoholic), beer and snacks. Since the service is at a counter outdoors (only a small counter indoors), I prefer to purchase adult beverages at the resort shop and take it to our room.
Of course, if you want more dining options, you can travel to another resort or the theme parks. Deluxe Resorts have more fine dining choices and character meals.
Shopping: Sport Goofy Gifts and Sundries is a large gift shop with a wide selection of T-shirts, toys and other souvenirs. There's also an excellent selection of packaged bakery goods, snacks and beverages. It is quite possible to get enough supplies for inexpensive breakfasts and lunches if your family is on a budget.
Recreation and Entertainment: Our favorite recreation at All Star Sports are the two large themed pools. The "Surf's Up" pool is more shaded and next to the main building with the food court, so we stop there more often. The other pool is shaped like a baseball diamond - not as exciting, but frequently less crowded. But this resort is probably best known for the football field playground. Just for the record, there's also a small arcade. Kids and teen boys are probably the ones that will enjoy it most.
Transportation: Buses transport guests from All Star Spots to the theme parks and Downtown Disney. All three of the All Star Resorts share the bus service, so the rides can be long. All Star Sports is the first stop, which helps at the end of a long day. If you're headed to another resort, you'll need to take the bus to a theme park or Downtown Disney then take whatever transportation is best to that resort. (Yes, it can be complicated, but it's the same for any of the Value or Moderate Resorts.)
Overall Review and Recommendations: Even though All Star Sports is in the "lowest class" hotel at Disney World, it's still a Disney property. I've consistently found the service, cleanliness and attention to detail as good here as at many four- and five-star hotels. Families with young children, sports fans and anyone with a good sense of humor - or a sense of adventure - or on a budget will appreciate its special features.
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